Angel - Season 2 impressions (episode 7)

[thalia_seawood]

Darla

For a summary click here
For Spike fans, here's a link to spikeylover's LJ with a lovely screencapped summary of all the Spike scenes.


Another favorite of mine!
After Fool For Love gave us background information for Spike, Darla shows us Darla's past and also gives us some very interesting information for Angel.

- From the flashback to the last episode:
Angel: "You have a soul now. Pretty soon those memories are gonna start eating away at you. Believe me, I know."

How can Angel be so sure a soul will give Darla a conscience? Holland, Lindsey and Lilah (probably :-)) still have their souls, but also have a remarkable lack of conscience.

- So Wesley is trying to connect to Angel, but Angel is once again on his own. He isn't even rude about it, he just appears to be disinterested in allowing his friends close.

- Angel's obsession with something expresses himself in drawing. I'm thinking of the pictures of Buffy and her mother, Penn and now Darla.

- I love Darla's twist on the usually rather sappy term "soul mate".
Darla: "And so was I. - Now do you know what we've become?"
Lindsey: "Enemies."
Darla: "Oh no. - *Much* worse. - Now we're soul *mates*."
Darla starts to laugh as Lindsey stares at her.

- Darla's destruction of the mirrors:
Angel later on explains this:
Cordy: "So why don't you go around smashing mirrors?"
Angel: "Because I don't have to look at *myself* in them.

I've been wondering about vampires and mirrors. In some fairy tales, when people lose their souls they lose their shadow and/or their reflection. It's interesting that in the Jossverse, vampires don't regain their reflection when they reacquire a soul. So it's not a direct link between soul and reflection. I guess the loss of the reflection is connected to being merged with a demon.

So my interpretation on Darla destroying the mirrors went beyond Angel's: By destroying her reflection, she also expresses the wish to become a demon again. (And yes, I know I'm overinterpreting here. But it's fun. :-))

- Flashback #1 - Virginia Colony 1609:
A great scene!

Darla definitely knew what she wanted when she was still alive. I also appreciate that she doesn't try to sweet-talk things; she's a whore and she's absolutely not repentent about it. The "priest" states that she's a woman of some property and from the fact that she can afford a doctor, you can see that this is true. Darla obviously was very successful in her business and most probably ran a big house. This also shows that she has always been strong-willed and independent.

The contrast to William is quite striking: He's sentimental, she's practical.
What they have in common is that they both aren't afraid when they see the demon face of Drusilla or the Master.

Priest to the doctor still sitting at her bedside: "You can't save her life - perhaps I can still save her soul."
The doctor gets up and leaves.
Darla: "My soul is well past saving. Let the devil take me if he'll have me. Either way - I die."
Priest: "No (The priest steps closer and pulls his hood back to reveal - the Master) you will not die. (Darla looks up at his inhuman face without flinching) You will be reborn."
Darla: "I know you."
The Master leans down and takes one of Darla's hands in his.
Master: "I came to you last night. I sang to you from that window."
Darla: "Hmm, I remember now. You're death?"
Master: "No."
Darla: "What then?"
Master: "I'm you're savior. God never did anything for you - but I will."
With that he leans down and sinks his fangs into her neck.

The entire scene between Darla and the Master is wonderful. Darla believes that her soul is "well past saving" and prefers the devil to God. Not sure she really means it or if this is something she wouldn't have said if she actually knew a demon was in her room. :-)

The last sentence obviously mirror what Darla says to Angel when she tells him that God doesn't want him, but she still does.

As selenak has pointed out for both Darla and Angel the acceptance or rejection of God is something that matters to them as both grew up in times when religion was very important and refusing to believe was an act of rebellion.

This scene also gives depth to the Master who so far was a rather boring character. It actually makes me want to rewatch scenes from season 1 just to see his reaction to Darla's death once more.

- Angel calls after them: "She'd want something with a view. (To himself) Darla always loved something with a view."

I like how they give Darla likes and dislikes. Here Angel remembers Darla loves something with a view and later on we see he's right. E.g. Darla stands close to the windows in the Wolfram & Hart headquarter and looks outside.
The room with a view is the opposite of the Master dwelling underneath the earth and can be seen as a symbol for her decision to stay with Angelus instead of with the Master.

- Flashback #2 - London 1760:

Another lovely flashback giving us some interaction between the Master, Darla and Angelus.
We see that Darla respects the Master, but is so taken by Angelus that she has no difficulties to decide in Angelus' favour and go away with him.
Angelus, on the other hand, is totally disrespectful to the Master. He deliberately challenges his authority. For one he's still very reckless (and strongly reminds me of Spike here) and he's also certain that Darla will be on his side.

Angelus: "Well, I mean, have you *been* above lately? It's quite nice. Me - I could never live in a rat infested stink hole - like this, if you'll pardon me for saying so. I got to have meself a proper bed or I'm a terror. (To Darla) Isn't that right love?"
Darla to the Master: "He's young."
Angelus: "And this one, down in the goose feathers, and the finest silks and linens and a view (Angelus comes around to Darla) she's always got to have the view (leans in close to her) don't you, my lamb?."
Darla to Master: "We fed very recently. The blood is still hot in his veins."
Angel in Darla's ear: "You noticed that, did you?"
Master: "We stalk the surface to feed and grow our ranks. We do not live amongst the human pestilence!"
Angelus: "I'll be honest, you really couldn't with that face, now could you?"
[...]
Angelus: "You belong by my side - out in the world - feeding as we like - taking what we need. I'll give you that view you crave, darling. I'll give you everything."

- Darla's name:
The importance of name is a scene that appears again and again on Buffy and Angel. Darla cannot remember her real name any longer and I'm not sure we ever learn Drusilla's real name. But your real name is a link to your past and therefore I believe that Darla and Drusilla will not ever be able to reclaim their human past whereas both Angel and Spike have a chance to be more than demons.

It's interesting that both Angel(us) and Darla have very sweet names. It's a nice balance to their rather wicked human lifes where they both didn't behave in accordance to society's rules. Liam rebels against his father, drinks too much, sleeps around and gets into bar fights; Darla is a prostitute.
Spike and Drusilla on the other hand have been innocents as humans - and now both have names that show their vicious nature. Spike has named himself after his favorite weapon and Drusilla's name is best known in the context of Caligula's sister.

- Flashback #3 - London 1880:

Cross-over flashbacks are a thing of beauty. It's lovely to see the night of Williams' turning from the vampires' viewpoint.

Whereas Drusilla is immediately fascinated by William, Darla dismisses him instantly. I've noticed that Angelus looks after William for a moment longer and I'm sure fandom has made much of this look. Actually, I find it quite funny that William bumps into Angelus and tells him off about it. Not sure he would have done that if he'd known how dangerous Angelus is. Well, I guess at this point William wouldn't have cared.

Dru: "No. His head's too full of you, grandmother."
Darla: "Stop calling me that."
She hits a chuckling Angelus and pulls him down the street.
Dru following: "Don't be cross. I could be your mummy."

This is one of Drusilla's prophetic comments. As I know what happens a bit later on between her and Darla, it makes perfect sense. :-)

- I can't stand Lindsey. Darla is at her breaking point and all he can think about is that he's attracted to her. Yes, he helps her later on, but it doesn't really cut it for me. Now if he had wrapped Darla in a blanket and treated her in a kind, non-sexual way he would have scored points with me.

- Darla: "It's nice. - But it's not me you want to screw."
Lindsey pulling back to look at her: "What?"
Darla: "It's him. You all think you can use me to get to Angel."
Lindsey looks at her for a moment: "Maybe."

... and Angel/Lindsey shippers everywhere rejoiced.

- Flashback #4 - Romania 1898:
Darla tries so hard to have Angelus returned to her. Too bad she doesn't give clear instructions to Spike and Drusilla, e.g. "Kill everyone, but not the family of the gypsy's leader." She obviously doesn't tell Spike and Dru what's really happened.

- Holland is a master manipulator.

- Flashback #5 - China 1900:
Love this scene:
Darla with her back to him: "What do you want?"
Angel: "A second chance."
Darla: "What?"
Angel: "I want things to be like they were. - You and me - together - Darla. - I miss the view."
Darla shakes her head, still with her back to him: "That's impossible."
Angel: "It's not impossible."
Darla: "You still have a soul."
Angel: "I'm still a vampire."
Darla turns around: "You're not. - Look at you. I don't know what you are anymore."
Angel: "You know what I am. You *made* me. Darla. I'm Angelus."
Darla: "Not anymore."
Angel slowly stepping closer: "I can be again. Just give me a chance to prove it to you."
Darla: "You almost made me believe you."
Angel: "Believe it. - We can have the whirlwind back."
Darla looks up at him: "We can do this."
Angel with a slight smile: "Yes, we can."
Darla: "We can do anything."
Angel pulls her close: "Anything we like."
They kiss.

Angel may claim that Darla never made him happy, but nevertheless he loves her. Despite the soul, he just wants things back the way they used to me. No moral decisions, no guilt, just doing what you want and being with the person that means the most to you. He simply doesn't care that she's a demon, after all he has been a demon for nearly 140 years as well.

Another great scene - especially since it enhances and changes what we've seen through Spike's memories:
Darla: "So, where have you two been?"
Dru: "Will I tell?"
Spike: "No need to be humble."
Dru: "My little Spike just killed himself a Slayer."
Darla to Angel: "Did you hear that?"
Angel to Spike: "Congratulations. - I guess that makes you one of us."
Spike: "Don't be so glum, eh? The way you tell it, one Slayer snuffs another one rises. I figure, there is a new chosen one getting all chosen even as we speak. I tell you what, when and if this new bird shows up, I'll give you first crack at it!"
Dru steps past Angel in the direction of the alley.
Dru: "Hmm, I smell fear."
Angel: "This whole place reeks of it."
Spike wraps his arms around Dru from behind.
Dru: "It's intoxicating."
Angel: "Let's get out of here. This rebellion is starting to bore me."
Darla watches as Angel walks past Dru, giggling in Spike's arms, then follows him.
Nice, slow motion shot of the four of them walking down the street with the burning buildings and riot all around. Spike steps on a bundle in his path and leaps high into the air.
Angel is walking down the street, grim-faced leading the way, with Darla just a step behind him. Spike is carrying Dru in his arms, kissing her. Darla is watching Angel.

Angel's congratulations to Spike's are delivered very reluctantly. The brilliant thing is that this is in character for both Angelus and Angel. I think Angelus would be jealous and/or withhold praise to stay in control of Spike. Angel, of course, is feeling disgust and guilt. He has pushed Spike again and again and as a result feels he has helped to create a monster.

Angel tries to protect the missionaries hidden in an alley, Drusilla smells their fear. And Darla knows Angel is hiding something from her.

The final shot with the Fanged Four shows that Spike and Drusilla are both ecstatic by what has happened: Spike has killed a Slayer, Angelus has returned and they are surrounded by violence and fear. They are totally in love with one another right now. As a contrast, we have Angel and Darla. Angel has to realize that with a soul he cannot bear the violence. Darla comes to the realization that she has lost Angel.

- The final scenes of this episode are wonderful. Darla just wants to stop the pain as quickly as possible and becoming a vampire again is the only solution she can imagine. It makes sense from her perspective. She has spent 20, maybe 30 years as human, but been a vampire for about 400 years.

Darla gives him a smile: "I knew you'd help me. Now if I could only get to you. - Funny. That's why they brought me back - to get to you. - Now I find I need you, just as I've always needed you. - You'll make the pain stop, won't you?"
Angel: "Takes time."
Darla: "Takes moments. (Shakes her hair back and exposes her throat) Do it - now."
[...]
Darla: "Turn me back. God! I can't bear this pounding in my chest for another instant!"
Angel quietly: "It's gift. - Too feel that heart beat - to know, really and for once, that you're alive. - You're human again, Darla. You know what that means?"
Darla: "Of course I do. It means pain and suffering - and disease and death. - Look, I released you from this world once, I gave you eternal life. Now it's time for you to return the favor."
Angel backs away a step, just looking at her: "Favor - is that what you think? - You think you did me a favor? - You damned me."
Darla after a beat: "Fine. Fine then, if it's such a punishment, take out your revenge, pay me back! (Angel just looks at her) - Please."
Angel swallows and shakes his head ever so slightly: "I can't."

It's very powerful that this scene is intercut with Angel following his conscience in the past when he rescues the baby and leaves Darla. In both cases, he does what he feels is right - even if it means losing Darla.

Comments

[spikeylover.livejournal.com]

Angelus's strong feelings for Darla are why I always think that he couldn't be burned by the judge. She was the one thing he did care for as a demon, IMO. Also, yes, go watch the Master's reaction to Darla being staked. It was huge to him. (again showing that unsouled demons are capable of having strong feelings for one another)

Also, when we watched FFL initially, I didn't realize that Angel's disgust over Spike killing a slayer was because he had a soul because I didn't watch ATS. I just assumed it was Angelus being a bit jealous over Spike and didn't think much of it.

[thalia-seawood.livejournal.com]

I just assumed it was Angelus being a bit jealous over Spike and didn't think much of it.

And no doubt, that's exactly what Spike thinks as well.

[selenak.livejournal.com]

As you'll be enormously surprised to learn, this is one of my all time favourite episodes.*g*

How can Angel be so sure a soul will give Darla a conscience? Holland, Lindsey and Lilah (probably :-)) still have their souls, but also have a remarkable lack of conscience.

Very good point. I think the answer is that Angel is projecting himself into Darla in a way he wouldn't with Holland, Lindsey and Lilah, because none of them has ever been a vampire. (They're also classic cases of Schreibtischtäter, whereas Darla and Angel killed first hand, which he might think makes a difference.)

So my interpretation on Darla destroying the mirrors went beyond Angel's: By destroying her reflection, she also expresses the wish to become a demon again.

True, plus she has lost certainty about a sense of self. About who she is. The reflection makes the point that she's human.

Darla the unrepentant whore: yes, I love that they did't do the La Traviata/Mary Magdalene thing, with making her a victim forced into prostitution and dying in tears. Mind you, of course a woman (especially one not born into nobility) had very limited options back then, but I think Darla could have gotten someone to marry her - women were so outnumbered by men in the early colonies, it was incredibly easy to get married, even with a ruined reputation. So that was clearly NOT what she wanted.

The Master: yes, I found him so much more interesting in his post-mortem appearances (The Wish and Darla than I did during season 1 of BTVS).

But your real name is a link to your past and therefore I believe that Darla and Drusilla will not ever be able to reclaim their human past whereas both Angel and Spike have a chance to be more than demons.

Love that theory, and it's true, I think, with a qualification in regards to Darla, but that's not because of a link to her human past, which indeed she has lost, but a very peculiar circumstance regarding her future. Also, about Darla's original name: my pet theory is that it was some derivation of Elizabeth, simply because she was born in England in the Elizabethan age (must have been, if she died in 1607, she can't have been born in Virginia), and most girls were named after the queen. So it was probably Betsy, Liz, or something like that (if Darla was working class originally, as I think she was). If you want to go for real irony, it was Buffy.*g*

... and Angel/Lindsey shippers everywhere rejoiced.

Indeed.*g* It's one of their most often quoted lines. Also note that Darla asks Lindsey earlier "boyfriend? girlfriend?" and he answers that he has neither, without getting upset or refuting her assumption he's bisexual.

[thalia-seawood.livejournal.com]

I think the answer is that Angel is projecting himself into Darla in a way he wouldn't with Holland, Lindsey and Lilah, because none of them has ever been a vampire.

Yes, Angel *wants* Darla to find her conscience again, because then they could be together again and work together again. This time for a good cause. He wants to fill the open position in his litle family. He has Wesley as son and Cordelia as a daughter, but he still lacks a companion, someone who will take care of him.

So that was clearly NOT what she wanted.
Darla comes across as a very strong woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. I'm sure she knew how to get what she wanted - by using her charms, sexual favour, observation and manipulation or whatever else was needed.

When she flirts with Lilah or Lindsey you just know she's trying to bind them to her.

[selenak.livejournal.com]

She obviously doesn't tell Spike and Dru what's really happened.

No. They're the kids, she and Angelus are in charge. I think she hoped she'd never have to tell anyone at all if she could get the gypsies to reverse the curse. Also, love the irony that it's Spike who inadvertendly ruins Angelus's one shot at getting rid of the curse (or, depending on your interpretation, ensures Angel is stuck with the soul and will be a hero in the future *g*).

Darla's destroyed expression when she walks away from the camp - she doesn't even bother to join Spike and Dru with the rest of the massacre - says it all about her feelings for Angel(us). I think one of the few things she repented in either incarnation was that she panicked and drove him away that night...

Angel may claim that Darla never made him happy, but nevertheless he loves her. Despite the soul, he just wants things back the way they used to me. No moral decisions, no guilt, just doing what you want and being with the person that means the most to you. He simply doesn't care that she's a demon, after all he has been a demon for nearly 140 years as well.

I think one of the reasons why he's unable to admit even to himself that what he feels for Darla is love is that if he could love her without a soul (and with a soul), it poses the question why he couldn't do that for Buffy. (He was obsessed with her without a soul, but did not love her.) The fact he went back to Darla two years after getting the soul speaks of the strength of their bond, and I love the exchange between him and Wesley that opens the flashback:

W: ...despite your soul, you didn't seek redemption for a hundred years.
A: No. I sought her.

It makes sense from her perspective. She has spent 20, maybe 30 years as human, but been a vampire for about 400 years.

Yes. If you had offered Angel in China the chance to get rid of the soul, I think he might have taken it as well. And Darla simply defines herself as a vampire, because that human past is too far away, too elusive.

[thalia-seawood.livejournal.com]

I think one of the reasons why he's unable to admit even to himself that what he feels for Darla is love is that if he could love her without a soul (and with a soul), it poses the question why he couldn't do that for Buffy.

That's a very good explanation. When he was with Buffy in the very beginning, he felt young and in a way innocent again, as if he really had the chance to start over again. So his feelings for Buffy are something very special. Therefore if he calls what he feels for Darla love as well, this specialness might be lost.

And Darla simply defines herself as a vampire, because that human past is too far away, too elusive.

In the meantime, I've also been thinking that Darla defines herself as a vampire, because vampires are strong and she hates being weak.

By the way, I'm up to episode 11 on Buffy and up to episode 8 on Angel. Will watch one more Buffy episode and then catch up with the Angel episodes. Just wanted to let you know that by now Buffy has totally captured my heart and has become my favorite next to Spike, Angel and Darla.

[selenak.livejournal.com]

In the meantime, I've also been thinking that Darla defines herself as a vampire, because vampires are strong and she hates being weak.

Definitely a decisive factor.

Just wanted to let you know that by now Buffy has totally captured my heart and has become my favorite next to Spike, Angel and Darla.

As the two ladies are not among the most popular in the fandom but dearly beloved by me, I'm very glad to hear it! The storyline with Joyce and Dawn and the way she deals with it is one of my favourites, too.

[spikeylover.livejournal.com]

I think one of the reasons why he's unable to admit even to himself that what he feels for Darla is love is that if he could love her without a soul (and with a soul), it poses the question why he couldn't do that for Buffy. (He was obsessed with her without a soul, but did not love her.) The fact he went back to Darla two years after getting the soul speaks of the strength of their bond, and I love the exchange between him and Wesley that opens the flashback:

W: ...despite your soul, you didn't seek redemption for a hundred years.
A: No. I sought her.

I think Darla & Spike's existence (and Anya's, too) make the answers not so black/white for the heroes.. Maybe this is why I love those characters so much..

[likeadeuce.livejournal.com]

an adjunct to my comment on your "fool for love" post -- I've always fanon-ly attributed Darla's instant aversion to Spike as her recognizing him as the type likely to be a client -- the type to be greatly in love with his "madonna" and not so nice to his "whore". As a prostitute, she's seen what men are like behind their public personas and is very hard to impress. I'd love to figure a way for her to meet Inara Serra, I bet they could have a nice chat.

Still without a Darla icon, I am shamed --

[thalia-seawood.livejournal.com]

Do we see the first time Darla meets Spike?
From the flashback scenes I've seen so far, she didn't seem to dislike him, but treat him like just another kid in the family.

[likeadeuce.livejournal.com]

instant might be the wrong word; she barely comments on Spike at all, but everytime she says his name, she kind of spits it out. She shows real affection for Dru, but I never had the impression that she more than tolerates Spike.

[spikendru.livejournal.com]

Angel's obsession with something expresses himself in drawing. I'm thinking of the pictures of Buffy and her mother, Penn and now Darla.

And this isn't the last we will see of this obsession - it will appear again in early S4. *g*

[thalia-seawood.livejournal.com]

Excellent!

I think all the vampires (with the exception of Harmony :-)) have a stalkerish streak - they are predators after all - , but Angel excels in it.

[spikendru.livejournal.com]

Yes, indeed. He has stalking down to a fine art. Which is probably why I had trouble believing in the "big romance" as something different from the vampires' usual M.O. A lot of people who were heavily invested in Buffy/Angel, saw that as a pure, forever love and saw Spike as an evil stalker. Now, I don't really have an OTP, and I enjoyed watching B/A unfold, but had no problems understanding that it had run its course and they were such different people in many ways, but alike in the ways guarenteed to generate conflict that I went on to enjoy the Buffy/Riley and later Buffy/Spike relationships.

I remember occassional arguements (although I missed most of the flame wars, as I didn't really get discover the on-line community until around S6 of Buffy) but it always surprised me that the B/A shippers I was in contact with never saw Angel as a stalker, but had no problems seeing Spike as one. Personally, I found the image of a 26-yr-old "man"/250-yr-old vampire in a blacked-out car watching a 15-year-old girl sucking a lollypop and "falling in love with her heart?" extremely creepy. Aside from the fact that at the time she was shallow, immature and stole lipstick for kicks, it sure wasn't her 'heart' that attracted him!

[thalia-seawood.livejournal.com]

Aside from the fact that at the time she was shallow, immature and stole lipstick for kicks, it sure wasn't her 'heart' that attracted him!

I agree with everything you say apart from this last comment. I think physical attraction doesn't cover completely what he feels here. I believe that he sees her potential, her inner strength underneath the lipglossy facade. Not that Angel is usually the type for deep visionary insights, but there are special circumstances involved here: After all Whistler guides him to Buffy. Beyond that Angel loves being a protector. Being supposed to protect Buffy without even being noticed appeals to him. It gives his unlife purpose and feels like suitable penance.

[spikendru.livejournal.com]

But, durng the first season of the show, he didn't actually do anything to protect her. He gave her cryptic messages that she had to figure out herself, without actually giving her any helpful information. He made no effort to get involved with her cause. In fact, in "The Harvest", they had this encounter:

BUFFY: I don't suppose you've got a key on you?
ANGEL: They really don't like me dropping in.
BUFFY: Why not?
ANGEL: They really don't like me.
BUFFY: How could that possibly be?
ANGEL: I knew you'd figure out this entryway sooner or later. Actually, I thought it was gonna be a *little* sooner.
BUFFY: Sorry you had to wait. Okay. Look, if you're gonna be popping up with this Cryptic Wise Man act on a regular basis, can you at least tell me your name?
ANGEL: Angel.
BUFFY: Angel. It's a pretty name.
ANGEL: Don't... go down there.
BUFFY: Deal with my going.
ANGEL: You shouldn't be putting yourself at risk. Tonight is the Harvest. Unless you can prevent it, the Master walks.
BUFFY: Well, if this Harvest thing is such a suckfest, why don't *you* stop it?
ANGEL: 'Cause I'm afraid.

(She looks at him for a moment and then spins around quickly, kicking open the doors to the tunnel. She turns back to him.)

ANGEL: They'll be expecting you.
BUFFY: I've got a friend down there. Or at least a potential friend. Do you know what it's like to have a friend? (no answer) That wasn't supposed to be a stumper.
ANGEL: When you hit the tunnels head east towards the school. That's where you're likely to find them.
BUFFY: You gonna wish me luck?

(Angel says nothing. They look at each other for another moment, then Buffy turns and heads into the tunnels.)

ANGEL: (whispers) Good luck!

He let her go down to the Master's lair alone and didn't even offer his support to her face, but only whispered "Good luck" after she had gone. Sure doesn't seem very protectory to me, but that's just IMHO.

In "Prophecy Girl", Xander pretty much has to shame him to get him to go down to back-up Buffy:

Angel: Oh. Look who's here.
XANDER: Mind if I come in? (comes in)
ANGEL: (closes the door) Make yourself at home.
XANDER: She's gone.
ANGEL: Whadaya mean?
XANDER: Buffy, she's gone to fight the Master.
ANGEL: He'll kill her.
XANDER: Rumor has it. Only we're not gonna let it happen.
ANGEL: Well, what do you propose we do about it?
XANDER: Look, I know you can find this Master guy. He's underground, right? Take me to him.
ANGEL: You're way outta your league, kid. The Master'll kill you before you can even breathe. If you're lucky.
XANDER: How can I say this clearly? (He holds up a cross.) I don't like you. At the end of the day, I pretty much think you're a vampire. But Buffy's got this big old yen for you. She thinks you're a real person. And right now I need you to prove her right.
ANGEL: You're in love with her.
XANDER: Aren't you?

So, I just have a hard time believing there was more than just physical attraction to a nubile young blonde at the beginning.

[thalia-seawood.livejournal.com]

I *really* need to watch this episode again.

Have to say that Angel stating that he's afraid totally doesn't fit his personality the way it's developed later on. The consistency from season 2 onwards works very well, but season 1 doesn't gel in several points.
Especially since we've seen in the flashback episodes that Angelus was utterly disrespectful towards the Master. The only way I can make it work is if I postulate that Angel felt weakened in a way.

Yeah, definitely have to rewatch these eps to fit them into the larger picture.